funny family one liners

One-Liners Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Frostbite.What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? Open toad sandals.55. Menu I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.67. Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop?72. Idaho... Alaska!What did Bacon say to Tomato? He held up a pair of pants.Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.24. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. He had his head in the clouds.What's the first bet that most people make in their lives? What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? of our It's dread-full.Why did the picture go to jail? ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.60. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.” – Mitch Hedberg“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it.My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework she'll slam my head on the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatynI refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.Introducing myself to new boyfriends parents: "Hi, I usually don't make it this far. I kneed you.What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’65. I gave him a glass of water.37. Suddenly, he finds the offer pressed between the pages. A Collection of short, funny Redneck jokes, one liners and insults! An InvestigatorWhat do you call a baby monkey? Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. © 2020 JPIMedia Publications Ltd. See TOP 10 family one liners. My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.50. By clicking "Save", you agree to our
One says, ‘How do you drive this thing?’29. "Where's Popcorn? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".If there’s an invasion army of endless flies attacking, who you gonna call?What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? ‘Yes.’” – Damien Slash“I’m going to donate my body to science, and keep my Dad happy – he always wanted me to go to medical school.” – Lee Mack“I just bought underwater headphones and it’s made me loads faster. "What do you call a laughing motorcycle? I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.20. A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’26. Clever one-liners … Milk and quackers!What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? And a slice of lemon. 110 of the best clean jokes and one-liners to make the whole family laugh If you’re looking for a few jokes to use at a family get-together that won’t offend any of your more […] By Alex Nelson I saw a sign the other day that said, ‘Watch for children,’ and I thought, ‘That sounds like a fair trade.’93. Kitty PerryWhat do you call a three-footed aardvark? My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, ‘Watt?’70. It was an emotional wedding. What is heavy forward but not backward? We don’t want your type in here!’79.

eBay.” – Lee Mack“You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Because pepper makes them sneeze!Why did the man put his money in the freezer? To find out more see our She hit the ceiling!19. If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?46.
Spring time.What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? It means I can only play the homeless, and possibly Jesus.” – Russell Brand“People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’” – Bill Bailey“I went to by a watch and the man said, ‘analogue?’ I said, ‘no thanks, just the watch. Where do bees go to the bathroom? Because it was not peeling wellWhich is the building is the largest? Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place.. Check out these funny one-liners and best one-liner jokes. Will glass coffins be a success? He says, ‘82.

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